You were never mine to begin with

I thought I have had it all under control
But when I told you I could handle it,
It was myself that I was trying to convince, not you
And so far, I have been losing my way

If only I knew that I would see you at the end of the tunnel,
Things would have been much easier
But I knew that when you told me you were going to be there,
It was yourself that you were trying to convince, not me

Now that I’ve lost you forever
Please don’t try to convince me that I haven’t
It was the most unbearable pain I had to feel
Hoping you would be there, only to find that you wouldn’t

If I only knew how to let you go
I would have done it right now
But then I didn’t even need to try to do it
For I have already lost you anyway

I know you never really wanted to stay
So when you pretended that you would,
It did nothing but hurt me
And I was a fool who was fooling myself

You were never mine to begin with
Despite my hope that you would someday be
Despite your promise that you would someday be
Both of us know that you would never be

14 Dec 98 14:10